Men in pantyhose and skirts not always transgender people

One of the most popular posts I wrote for my Gazette blog and reprinted on my Jillian Page blog (jillianpage.com)  was about men who self-identify as men and like to wear pantyhose, skirts and other feminine attire. I’ve heard from men  all over the world, some of whom sent me photos and wrote guest pieces for me.

Although those posts are no longer available on the Gazette site, a modified version of one of them is on my other blog site and is one of the most-read posts there. So here it is again, with further modifications for this blog.

****

There is no law that I know of that says a man who dresses en femme at times must identify as a transgender person or a transsexual person or a woman. And long-time readers of my old Gazette blog and my personal blog know that a lot of men wear pantyhose, skirts, blouses and such, and they do not identify as trans people or women. Granted, some do it for fetish reasons, but many dress en femme simply because they enjoy the clothes.

While some may identify as cross-dressers, many don’t, and it would be an insult to them to label them as such. They are simply men who like to wear feminine attire sometimes. Why should a man who dresses in feminine attire be labelled a cross-dresser while a woman who dresses in more masculine attire — even if it has been slightly feminized — not be labelled? It seems to be a double standard, yes?

Indeed, we might all be surprised if we knew just how many guys are wearing female undergarments to work everyday. And why shouldn’t they?

I wonder how many of those guys would wear skirts and blouses or dresses with those hidden femme undergarments to work if they had the same freedom in clothes presentation that women have. Sadly, men have fewer rights when it comes to clothes.

But is the growing popularity of transgenderism helping their cause, or hurting it? How many men are claiming to be transgender in order to dress in more traditionally feminine garb in public?

I’d like to hear from the guys who dress en femme sometimes but do not identify as transgender people, even if they claim to be in order to have clothes freedom. So many of you have written to me in the past and have had your comments posted in my Gazette blog and my blog at jillianpage.com.

You are invited now to carry the discussion forward.

— Jillian Page, LGBT Perspectives editor

****

“Let harmlessness be the keynote of your life.” — Alice Bailey

Advertisements

14 thoughts on “Men in pantyhose and skirts not always transgender people”

  1. Well, reading the main article I have to say that skirts and pantyhose are not female attires. Women just know what they want to wear and took over. Looking back in the history we’ll find that the skirt was for a long time a male clothes, not a women’s. almost the same with pantyhose which we’ll find used by soldiers during the 30 years war in different colors to identify where and for whom they fought. And today the leggings, also mostly used by women, are nothing else than the modified male long underpants.
    What we are doing in our societies, we’re labeling people which like to wear what they want. Nobody mentioned before that women and men have the same receptors in their skin, feeling what is soft and good or bad. The the society makes what boys/men have to feel and how to dress – and we are doing this already when boys are still babies/toddler. And we continue this way.
    Why are we doing that just for clothes, not what we eat or drink, where we live, what car we’re driving… even the air we are breathing is the same.
    Why, especially men, young and older, try to break through this society created “wall”, -invisible created by all of us in the=is societies- and do sometimes terrible things just to be for minutes out of the cage? Yes, everybody of us is in charge of that.

    I could read in some comments and in different articles (not in this blog) that the male human are labeled as “transgender”, gay etc. just when wearing something different and I have to ask myself a very important question:
    “Are we already so short in personal education that we can’t see that EVERYBODY, each human, is different (even twins), has different interests, thoughts and feelings, a a wonderful creation of God (or nature if you will) with own ideas and has the right to express his own unique and magic personality?” Girls and women do not have any of these problems because they are educated/trained from very young on to express their own personality – with tremendous success. Asking for equality? Who’s asking? Why? Do you see any common sense?

    There is a wonderful world waiting for us without self-created cages, herd-thinking and -acting. Who will go first?

    Like

  2. I know that there is a less of a stigma attached to a woman who appears in public dressed in traditional men’s clothing than there is attached to a man who lets himself be seen at large in clothing standardly designed for women. Perhaps the different evaluations associated with the alternatives are explicable in terms of the higher social status traditionally attributed to men via-a-via women: lt is evidently less of a disgrace to be perceived as emulating people of a more prestigious social station than one’s own than it is to be perceived as taking on the manners of one’s social inferiors.

    Like

  3. I’m a straight married male. I wear compression thigh high stockings and pantyhose due to edema and chronic venous insufficiency issues from having both my knees replaced. They are medical and have a gradient compression of 15-20 mhg that increases the blood flow back to the heart. My wife of course fully supports. I am used to wearing nylons and love wearing. Long before my medical issues however I admit I have loved wearing pantyhose. I am not a transgender and like being male. I have done some full cross dressing too but only on 3 ocassions. Quite frankly it’s too much work to be a full cross dresser. For me it’s only about the nylon hosiery I love. I’m not sure why it’s a big deal. Men wore full leg hosiery for centuries before women. Granted they were wool or cotton stockings and not the sheer nylons I love wearing. Thanks for your blog. Well written.

    Like

    1. Hey Mike, it seems we have the same problem with our legs. Yes, Im wearing support stockings/pantyhose, too, and my doctor recommended wearing skirted garments or shorts because these stockings under long pants producing heat which is bad because the capillary system extends and I would have the same problem with the bold flow. So, what to do? I wear skirts! And it helps very much, I am married, my wife supports me in full. No problems at work, actually nowhere, just very positive comments.

      Like

  4. Transgender is simply another label to keep society happy. Another box to group other people in so the others within society can call them different or other impolite descriptions. You are who you are.

    The article was talking about men who choose to wear fem clothing and is this also possibly Transgender. Cross dressing was also mentioned. Clothing does not define either gender or sex. Nature decrees man or woman. Society and its obsession with labels creates gender. The article implies skirts/dresses are fem clothing – a label for women only. If we are retaining labels and therefore men digressing from society expectations from their male clothes is cross dressing or even transgender then the same must apply to women who now embrace virtually all male clothing, which not so long ago was not allowed by society and frowned upon when some started to push the expectations.

    Cross dressing is wearing clothing of the opposite sex. Who is the cross dresser these days? If I want to dress as a woman I would wear jeans, tee shirt, trainers base ball cap etc etc.

    I am a heterosexual male, happily married and have know doubts about my sex – I am a man. I certainly do not feel trapped in the wrong body and certainly do not feel transgender. I simply prefer skirts and other clothing I wear that society still label as womens wear yet any wear for women, out of choice and preference. Character and personality. My web site http://www.theskirtedman.eu has far more information and reasons.

    All negative comment, reasons why I or men who are men as defined by nature shouldn’t wear a skirt apply equally to women as defined by nature who now dress in male style clothing, a style still expect men to retain in. Are women cross dressing, dysfunctional and all the other buzz words applied to men?

    This article questions labels, as too the replies yet at the same time applies labels and expectations at men! I also see men being questioned, not women. Definition of Transgender – “denoting or relating to a person whose self-identity does not conform unambiguously to conventional notions of male or female gender”. Please note this applies to both genders and that includes when both push for a change in society expectations and this includes women and their modern day clothing style the same clothing style they still expect men to remain within. Perhaps it is many women who have the problem with self identity not the few men who want to break away from society clothing labels placed upon men!

    Like

  5. For me, “transgender” = transition gender, although of course some call it a label for an umbrella so huge that it practically includes everyone alive, including of course women who have been “transgender” since they defied gender expectations by wearing male clothing as they do today. As a society, hypocrisy rules the day, and nothing proves this as this clothing double standard. Of course everyone should wear personal attire that they like, at least in public without having to suffer being mocked. As a child who wished I had grown up with long hair, I immediately noticed this hypocrisy and thought it was wrong then and still do. Putting on clothes just makes one an actor, so men who wear fem clothes are “acting” out on their desire to wear fem clothes with no explanation owed to anybody. Putting on clothes makes one a different actor as well, if one is performing a female role while retaining a male identity (Ru Paul Dis/graced Race). Putting on clothes is NOT acting of course if the clothes are but one part of an actual reality–such as a real policeman putting on a uniform, or cis & trans women putting on fem clothes as part of who they really are, not what they pretend to be.

    Like

  6. That’s a nice wish Karen, I wish that too.
    I’m not sure what to say in response to this article. The term transgender has become a very broad umbrella term in the spirit of inclusion and maybe that’s a big part of the problem here. Which bathroom would these self identified men who wear feminine clothing feel they should use? (I’ve refrained from saying women’s clothing) presumably, the men’s room(?)

    I mean no disrespect to anyone, by this stance sure doesn’t help ‘true transgender’ women at all.

    Like

    1. Perhaps we should also ask which bathroom should women who are women but now wear male style clothing, even some admit actual male clothing, and the many women who now not only look like men but act like men should use? Why is it always an issue about men and never the same questions directed at women who go against or eventually change society expectations of them. Either gender wearing clothing society labels as mens wear, womens wear does not make either transgender. It is simply freedom of choice and a stand against stupid society imposed labels.

      Like

      1. Jeremy, you make a lot of good points in your responses. I had thought about “men in pantyhose and skirts” and which public bathroom they might use — that is, the men who are brave enough to wear what they want in public. Which one do you use in public settings when you are dressed in what is considered to be femme attire?

        Like

        1. Obviously the mens and I have not had any trouble. I am a man, look like a man, I just have a skirt on. Where else would I go unless you suggest the womens! Should I use a bush or even a wall? Do you ask women who dress and look like men if they use the mens? I am beginning to doubt the sincerity of your articles on this subject. Is it really men in skirts and pantyhose, for us here in the UK men in skirts and tights or are you talking about men who look and emulate women in the full entirety with false accessories. Each to their own but for me I and the many men I have had contact with certainly are not the latter which I could see having problems in either mens or womens public bathrooms with some members of the public. I am simply a man in a skirt, no different to a woman in trousers and male style clothing.

          Like

          1. Jeremy, I asked you the question about washrooms because they are a big issue in Canada and the United States as right-wingers try to stop trans women from using women’s facilities. I think your answer is educational for everyone who has been wrestling with the issues in these countries.

            I have long supported the rights of men to wear whatever they want and have written about it in all three of my blogs.

            However, it may have been a mistake to introduce the subject here, in this blog that focuses on LGBT issues.

            What do you think?

            Like

            1. Jillian. Although there is no reason this article should not be placed on this blog, on reflection with the way replies have been posted, I think it was a mistake. My perception. It is far too difficult for even many open minded people not to think within societies obsession of labels and expectations placed upon people, individuals and groups. Your article is clearly talking about men who prefer skirts and clothing that society insists on classifying as feminine or womens only for men (any wear for women) who still acknowledge and behave as an every day man and should not have the word trans associated to them even cross dressing. In other words very similar to the many many women who do the same for themselves but in clothing styles men are restricted to by society labels and expectations. The article is therefore Heterosexual based. The article asked for comments from such men and put the question is the term transgender causing such men problems.

              The debate of washrooms for such men of your article within the replies I found very frustrating in relation to the actual article. I have already said, from my experience, women in trousers or other male style clothing they were once banned from are not questioned like this about going to public washrooms.

              I am not within the LGBT community, as a heterosexual man, but I have met with a few same sex couples, men and women, throughout my life, professionally and socially even bisexual. This includes those going through medical procedure to change to the opposite sex and I treat them with the same respect as I expect. I can understand that some men or women who are transgressing to the opposite sex could have such problems in public areas, perhaps even here in the UK but I am not aware of any but I am not part of the LGBT community. Occasionally I have seen men clearly being moved more towards a female persona than the likes of men like me in mens public washrooms without problems but I cannot vouch for all instances. I would assume if they are still biologically male, they will use a male washroom. There are some right wingers over here but as a country we have laws that are inclusive and do not allow such open discrimination. Some do try in areas of life but are challenged and it is rare. I assume Transwomen over here will pick areas they participate within. This also annoys me as we have Transmen but no issue is ever made. There are a few areas over here I would not enter even as a society expected dressed male. Speaking of washrooms, over here the number of unisex washrooms in public areas is on the increase, singular sites, not multi. From my own experience as an ordinary man in what society insists on being womens only clothes, I do not, certainly not so far, had such problems with washrooms and I have been in the presence of some, men and women, who are intimidating in appearance, talk and attitude. I look, behave, speak, walk etc as a man. Perhaps men in mens washrooms do not feel intimidated by such a man in a skirt, intrigued, even amusing but women in their washrooms certainly would because I am clearly a man. Perhaps our laws of inclusion, anti discrimination etc over here actually work without having to enact them. Having said this, some in society over here in the UK do frown generally about men like me but never for women who push and change society expectations within clothing or appearance.

              I’m sorry if my replies have been direct but I read your article, yes under the umbrella of the LGBT banner but the article clearly, to me at least, is not directed at such people and you did ask for men whom the article was about to make contact. I have no disrespect for the LGBT community. I live by live and let live, provided I am respected for being me in return. Perhaps some from the LGBT community in the UK will disagree with me on their experience but my initial replies were based upon your article.

              Many thanks.

              Like

  7. Back in the day, people like this were labelled as “Tom girls” (Tom boys for the girls, as I was called). Why do we as a society feel the need to label everyone? Why can’t we just “be”? I dress in jeans and t-shirts…and have for over 20 years. No one makes fun of me, but when my son put on nail polish, everyone had an opinion. I wish people could just be people and everyone could be free to be who they are, without fear and without prejudice.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s