From the “I can’t believe they ran this” department comes a National Post column by a gay man decrying same-sex marriage in the United States. It will ruin everything, he says, just like it did in Canada.
In the old days, Joseph Couture writes, “men who liked having sex with men were part of a thriving underground culture of promiscuity, hedonism and uninhibited self-expression, even if only done in secret. Men were meeting for random sex in bathhouses, parks, washrooms, video stores and the backrooms of dark bars. No doubt there will be people who judge men like this, and many in the gay community who would like to pretend it wasn’t true, but it was — and it was wonderful. It still happens, but the culture is slowly dying.”
Indeed, it is being replaced, he says, by a gay community bent on proving it is just like everybody else and, shudders, men are settling down in monogamous relationships.
Couture writes: “The “we’re just like you” campaign worked — too well. As more and more people began to accept homosexuals, they did so with conditions. They really did expect us to be just like them. It’s was OK to have a same-sex partner, but that was the deal. You had to have one partner, not hundreds of them, and you were now expected to settle down, get married and have children just like everybody else. The new norm for the gay community was — well, to be normal — and it ruined everything.”
Hmm . . . Is this the tongue-in-cheek cry of a confirmed bachelor?
It doesn’t appear to be a humour column; he truly is lamenting the decline of the gay lifestyle as he appreciated it, though he says many gay men are still as promiscuous as ever. His lament goes deeper, of course: he sees the gay community as being in a state of transition heading to a new norm that is all too similar to the stereotype of straight manly men, while the straight guys are becoming more effeminate.
“In many ways, straight men are more like gay men used to be and gay men are trying to be what they think straight men once were,” Couture writes.
Aaah, for the good old days . . .
But, wait a minute: On a promiscuity level, surely gay men must have swinger groups and clubs just like heterosexuals do.
And surely most gay men must be happy to leave the days of furtive public bathroom sex behind them? Because surely that wasn’t what being gay was all about . . . was it?
Didn’t most gay men want equal civil rights and be able to live and love openly?
— Jillian Page, LGBT Perspectives editor
“Let harmlessness be the keynote of your life.” — Alice Bailey