Cummings & Lopez: In their own words

Editor’s note: Are they confused busybodies or concerned citizens speaking from experience? Or both? In a July 18 opinion piece here, LGBT Perspectives columnist Dianne Skoll encouraged “ex-trans activists” Mark Angelo Cummings and Lynna Lopez to butt out of transgender people’s lives. Both Cummings and Lopez responded in the readers’ comments sections, and a heated exchange developed. In the interests of objectivity, LGBT Perspectives has offered Mark and Lynna an opportunity to explain why they are speaking out against gender transitioning. Update: Comments to this post are now closed.

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Other Voices Matter

By Mark Angelo Cummings

Lynna Lopez (left) and Mark Angelo Cummings.  (Photo: Facebook)
Lynna Lopez (left) and Mark Angelo Cummings. (Photo: Facebook)

We wanted to explain our point of view and why we are on this mission to educate and be another voice for those who do not fall under the same trans narrative and for concerned parents of gender-variant children. Puberty blockers are not safe for children, the FDA has not approved their use on children, and they are only used for treatment as an off-label drug. The side-effects are not only physical, but also mental. During puberty, the maturation process is not only physical in an adolescent, but also mental and emotional, stunting the normal developmental progression of a human being when it’s blocked. No treatment that involves sterilization has ever been used in any treatment of any kind or condition for any illness, in human history.

First of all, we stopped identifying as trans when we saw the inner turmoil that most in the community suffer from and the lack of cohesion and compassion many have for themselves and for cis individuals.  We find that most in this community have many problems that lead them to becoming anti-social, show aggressive behavior in forums, groups and social media when their views are questioned or challenged; and end up demonstrating vindictive, irrational and destructive behavior that is not normal for mentally stable individuals.

We also found that in this community the selfish behavior overrides the altruistic way of being to include sacrificing the young to push their own narrative and needs forward. I also found after experimenting with the reaction from the community towards de-transitioners that they will throw their own under the bus when it questions their narrative or makes them question it themselves. We find that many in this community lack mental stability and the specialists who are handing out letters like candy are overlooking the major issues many are faced with. The increased suicide rate even after transition proves this as well as the lack of happiness from those whom even after years of transition continue to show maladaptive behavior.

The lack of understanding or even wanting to see the different perspective is alarming and rather disappointing, in a group that at best act like pubescent teens still in high school. What we hope to accomplish is to create stricter guide lines for transitioning, follow-up care for those who transition and for there to be an age of consent that is at least i21 years of age and also a cap for those who are too old and will actually create more problems for themselves and others. It is clear that the medical community is using our community to further their gains and cannot be trusted.

We feel we have been persecuted, mistreated and discredited in order to silence our views, all tactics that as a naturally born female, I really find no different in what men have done to females throughout history. My views are that men are using this tactic, calling themselves women to continue to demoralize, control and patronize my kind. Frankly, I am appalled and feel that trans women have been the ones who have prompted this change in my views and beliefs. We are not saying that people should not express how they feel, on the contrary please be happy. We are, however, saying that not everyone can justify this life- altering event, far too many are embarking on this journey and have no business riding this train. There are some variations of karyotypes who are justifiable, but even then, is the answer mutilating our bodies to fit the societal box? Or instead, and I speak from experience, should we educate society on the different gender variance and stop complying with the gender system? As a teenager and young adult I would walk through both worlds and felt at ease in both male and female personalities.

I believe every human being has a duality and the neurotic sense many face is because of the way they are forced to pick a gender and live life in such strict forms. I have noticed many in the community lack love in their lives, are miserable in so many ways, how can they not be, when they are chasing a dream that will never fully become a reality? It is sad to see, but when most remove the veil and this takes years after transitioning, the realization hits you hard, many commit suicide, others de-transition while the rest just live with the burden and feel there is nothing else they can do, after all they jumped and there is not turning back.

So for us to be judged and ridiculed by this community because of our different viewpoints is very wrong on all levels. There are many who feel the same way as we do, but they are too afraid to be vocal and remain anonymous. Personal attacks and not dealing with the issues at hand has been the typical response from this community.

In conclusion, how can this community expect compassion and understanding from others, when they attack outsiders and their very own for being different and singing another tune — bullies claiming to be bullied.

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15 thoughts on “Cummings & Lopez: In their own words”

  1. First off, why don’t you two practice what you preach? If you are so dead set against transitioning, why don’t you de transition? Until that point, I have no respect for you two by spewing hatred into community, but not following your own ‘advise’.

    Secondly Mark, you have NO IDEA about the psychodynamic of the adolescent brain, and your speculation is ridiculous. If you want me to believe anything, where is your APA cites to back up you claims? And you are NOT a psychologist; I’m a semester away from being one. You were a physical therapist. Just because you had to take a psychology class here and there to get your undergrad, does not make you the expert.

    Lastly, I agree, BUTT OUT!!! We are no harm to you at all. You are choosing to immerse yourself. Let us do our own thing. You’d be surprised how much easier life would be if you’d stop butting in to peoples’ lives.

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    1. Britayfl, let me make something very clear to you. I am an Occupational Therapist, and no its not just a few pre courses as you so ignorantly put it. I not only know the psychodynamics of the adolescent brain, but the entire spectrum from infancy to the elderly. So before you make assumptions, educate yourself on my profession and knowledge base. http://psychcentral.com/lib/occupational-therapy-and-mental-health/

      Second, we have explained our take on de transtitioning, and if you are going to be working with clients that are trans, I suggest you educate yourself on this matter, and properly warn them, that once you take the plunge there is really no turning back. There are some who have de transitioned, but not successfully, hormones on an FTM means never to properly return to your original gender. Just as hard as it is for a trans woman to be a woman due to the secondary characteristic changes, an FTM after 12 years and a full hysto cannot de transition. Please educate yourself, you are really losing credibility in your statement and response.

      I really don’t care if you believe, have respect for me, or whatever you are claiming to state. I will not butt out, in fact, the more ignorance I hear as in all of your comment, the more drive it gives me to continue to stop this madness. The lack of knowledge in the so called gender specialist and the medical community working with this population, the more drive it gives me to continue to push harder.

      My life is real easy, we don’t get intimidated by ignorant and loud keyboard warriors, whose only reason for battling us is due to their own insecurities, lack of knowledge and poor coping skills.

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    2. Also I wanted to add, I don’t believe that gender dysphoria is even a diagnosis, I believe that trans individuals suffer from other mental issues that affect how they view themselves as far as gender. But this community contradicts itself with first stating that GD was taken out of the DSM, and it is a biological condition vs mental, yet in another breath you are mentioning the APA, which is a joke by the way. Big Pharma run and corrupt. So you betcha we believe that there is much harm being done, especially to the youth, someone needs to speak up and that someone would be us. We are entitled to our views and voice.

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  2. Mark, Who would you consider a “real” transgender person.?What are your proposed criteria? You are quick to critique the current APA and AMA backed clinical practices and say, “What we hope to accomplish is to create stricter guide lines for transitioning, follow-up care for those who transition…” but don’t offer details. What would your guidelines be?

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    1. Well first of all Dianne where in my article did I mention the word “real Trans”, but I will tell you that the current guidelines are flawed in so many ways. Anyone who tells a “gender specialist” that they feel they were ” born in the wrong body”, or “I have felt like a little girl since I was 5 years old”, mentions suicide, you know the typical key phrases, that get you the letter for hormones and surgery. So what we would like to see are less subjective criteria, and more objective findings such as chromosome testing, hormonal fingerprinting that provides a basis for why the different gender variances. In other words more objective findings, not just going by feelings or allowing fantasies to be the main criteria. You have to understand there needs to be more accountability which in the long run will help the community. For now it is the wild wild west and many who transition have no business doing so.

      Biology needs to count for something, and this way we weed out those that are utilizing the trans ride to justify their need for speed and we can save future heartache and catastrophe in a already dysfunctional “program” that needs to be closely monitored before it goes off the deep end.

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      1. So what would you recommend until a genetic or hormonal marker can be found? Because, as I’m sure you know, at this time there is no objective biological criteria available. Is there an objective behavioral or psychological criteria that you feel should be met to validate a person before they can access surgery or hormones? Do you feel that the full WPATH standards are adequate?

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        1. Instead of pushing transition like it is being done as of late to anyone and everyone, Gender Specialists need to really get to know the patient and their other issues that are being ignored. There are a slew of them that need to be addressed, instead of thinking that transition is the cure all of which it has been clearly proven that it does not, it only buys a few years and problems return. I believe that those involved need to push for these tests, it is not that difficult to find out ones chromosomes and hormonal fingerprint. It is not being done because the other is much easier and being driven by the community for their benefit.

          Because I no longer believe transition is the answer for many, but instead teaching the individual coping skills, realizing that biology is non negotiable and learning to gender express without creating harmful changes to the body that in the end solves nothing is a better choice than the radical treatment we are seeing taking place. Seriously what does transitioning solve? Men transitioning to become women who still look like men and only increase their problems to the point of suicide. I am being realistic here. I have zero respect for WPATH it is run by individuals with interest and are not being objective, so no the standards are not adequate, how can they be, there is no concrete or objective findings for their to be any standards. What disease or disorder is the history of medicine is self diagnosed? We need to create better standard, better understanding, and better educated professionals. Gender Specialist are a joke.

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  3. The fact that men are not women, regardless of what you think is just a biological reality. When as a trans person, you identify and choose to live your life as the opposite gender, I would suggest that you enter these feminine spaces with the greatest of respect. I would never barge into a place and assert my right to be there. I respectfully would do whatever I could to not ever position myself as a threat to real women. I will fight for their rights as women to be honored and respected. I would also never claim as mine what they are entitled to naturally. It seems like trans women seem to want to be a better version than the real mccoy is. You can’t just march into their camp and think that you can steal their identity. You have no business sticking your nose into places that are not yours to have. Respect first, build trust, honor the women who deserve to be who they are. If you choose to live in a feminine manner in society, don’t ever forget that you can only be adopted and in order for that to happen you need to earn it.

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  4. Lynna and Mark are entitled to their opinions. Where they cross a crucial line is when they invalidate the experiences, identities and lives of others. Certainly transition is not for everyone, and there are people who should never have transitioned. However, the evidence is clear from the lives of many many in our community that transition has been the right thing for them. It HAS been right for me, and I resent being told that my identity is a “lie” and I am *threatened* when the people telling me this are also telling as many people as who will listen (and there are many) that I am invalid and I never should have been allowed hormones and surgery. What the these people are doing is every bit as harmful as the autogynephillia proponents, and their tactics of assumption, misrepresentation and harm are much the same.

    Lynna and Mark can only prescribe for Lynna and Mark. It matters not how much they think they know about transgender experience. They certainly don’t know *my* transgender experience and what is best for me. They need to BUTT-OUT.

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    1. With all do respect Brettany what makes your experience any different from the hundreds of men who feel they fail as men and want to take a shot at being a woman, or for any man who is in touch with their femininity and feel they would be better accepted as a female. Do you realize the harm that you and others like you are doing to neo-born females? Do you realize that by you identifying as a woman, you are watering down the true essence and meaning of womanhood. Women don’t have penisises, woman do not have hands and feet that belong in a male body, woman do not grow up and get socialized and have all the advantages that you had having been born in a male body. Woman get harassed, have been sold as slaves, mistreated, get paid less, have lost their children due to miscarriage, get sexually harassed at worked and lose their jobs if they don’t comply. Women don’t have a choice of many of the matters they face, they are born woman. You Brettany were born a man, in a male body, and you feel privileged to dictate what a woman should look like, be like or the definition of such. No Brittany, I beg to differ, and I will not butt out, for I will stand up for my sister, my kind, and you have no right to claim it.

      You can identify, dress, engage in your daily life as the gender you feel you are, but no you are not a woman, and you do not have the right to badger us as you do, my kind is precious and even though I sold out because I drank the koolaid, I will stand up for them and let you and others like you know that no you are trans but a woman you are not.

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