By Brettany Renée Blatchley
ASHEVILLE, North Carolina — An acquaintance of mine made this observation: As I see it, the problem for many of us is NOT that we know we are women. The problem is knowing how to BE a woman. That is the hardest part of transition.
To which I replied:
Being a woman is the process of *becoming*… I’m not sure that it’s something that has a definite demarcation. The proof is in the living, but life is lived a day at a time…
… So maybe it’s our lives as seen by others (or ourselves) over a period of time: “Oh, she must be a woman.”
As a female person, I now see myself as a woman, but in odd ways I am both mature and immature. There is my maturity as a human being, which is helping me through my immaturity as a woman. I’ve much yet to learn, but I now grow as a woman.
It’s like I have merged onto the Woman Highway from the on-ramp of my transsexuality. Now I am seeing the scenery other women are seeing and I’m encountering the road hazards they encounter. There are bypasses that other women can take that I can’t (childbirth); likewise there are bypasses that I can take that only some other women can take with me (rape). And there are little detours that only we trans women can take together (second puberty). But we’re on the same general highway, and our destination of *becoming* the women we are is the same.